I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
