My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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