her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
