I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
