It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
