party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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