bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
