Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
