I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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