you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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