we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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