I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize