Your tits are I can't wait for
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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