Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
