My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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