then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
