Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
