Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
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FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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