how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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