did you get engaged???
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
