It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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