found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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