Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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