So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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