the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
