whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
