if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize