is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have fence marks all over my body
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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