just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
