Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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