this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
