so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wish my penis had a tongue
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
