it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize