im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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