Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
