U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
