Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
