It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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