I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Will exercising make me less horny?
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