Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
