do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
