Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
