I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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