she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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