she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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