Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize