i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
