Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize