As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
