I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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