Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
