I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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