Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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