We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
