I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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