Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
