Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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