Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
