Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
