U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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