Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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