Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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