We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
