3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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