I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I need a burrito and a hug.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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