He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
